The source of boundless joy

Cover image credit: (Left) Shot by the author. (Right) Taken by a staff member of Mission Ridge Animal Hospital (Alberta).

I retired from tech last September to pursue my dream of almost 27 years. Closed all my social media accounts. Finalized everything that was required for the move from St. Albert (Wild Rose Country) to Fort Nelson (Beautiful British Columbia), when my best friend of 16 years and fellow traveler suddenly passed away four days before our journey.

Moment of truth

Was it that feeling of emptiness when you lose the one you love the most? Was it that feeling of despair when your long-awaited dream comes crashing without notice? Yes and yes, but it was that moment when truth reveals itself and acts in reality through death.

Frazer had perished and could never be made whole again. I had lost exclusive access to that endless fountain of immeasurable joy.

What’s my next step and in which direction?

Denvor and I drove to Fort Nelson with Frazer’s ashes, and Kate Wolf’s songs were playing in a loop. We were not even 600 km from the Yukon border, a place I have waited to get to for almost three decades.

Wisdom of the mountains

I was my mom’s caregiver for almost 25 years and a lone wolf all my life. But for the first time in 38 years, I felt lost. Couldn’t get myself to drive up north because my whole heart was left behind in Alberta.

Remembered a quote by Alan Watts: “You thought you were going to crash and you bounced.”

They say that it’s the Wisdom of the Mountains, and I was surrounded by exquisite ones in the Northern Rockies. I slowly started to unfreeze and move in one direction. Perhaps Frazer’s enfolding into the all-encompassing yet unfathomable energy made it easy for him to transcend his perished form and touch me again. Perhaps it was Rupert Sheldrake’s terminal lucidity paper. Perhaps it was something else.

Why do I care which event or series of events helped me appreciate the canvas of darkness that makes the light shine? I don’t.

Codiscovering boundless joy

I’m grateful that Frazer’s unfolding wave of 2007 and enfolding wave of 2023 carried me along this far. And I’m glad that he is resting in Alberta because that’s where my dream began in 1996/1997.

His eternal presence inspired me to rekindle that love for the Yukon, but with a widened gaze this time around.

We co-discovered the Frazden School of Boundless Joy and are enjoying our travels through this immensely beautiful country that I have loved for almost three decades, with 16 of those 27 years being shared with Frazer.

I’m sure you have someone in your life who walks with and within you the same way. If you have lost exclusive access to that special form and endless fountain of immeasurable joy in your life, go out now and donate nine dollars to any organization in your neighborhood that is serving folks like the one you lost. And if that special form is still around, give nine dollars as a note of gratitude.

Tribute to Frazer | Forever Sweet 16

This is a B9 Token, which is an effortless contribution by me that inspires you enough to donate nine dollars, in cash or kind, to an organization in your neighborhood that is serving a cause that matters the most to you. If you took action as a result of this post, thank you for celebrating the ubiquitous presence of the one you love the most!